Thursday, March 31, 2011

Silent Connections

After some conversations with a friend I determined that I primarily connect with people through silent actions instead of direct interactions and conversation. I wonder if this is a normal alternative to typical for interrelationships between two individuals.

The way that I connect with people is through the unmotivated, silent, and unthoughtful actions. Lets use an example to clarify what I mean.

To set the scene: I am driving late at night with a girl. The windows are down, the sunroof is open, the radio is dead. Nothing but an endless road and the dull one-note tone of the engine as it bellows its eternal moan. I gaze off into the distance and lose myself in the pavement. She sits with the seat back a little with her shoes off and is lost in the twinkling stars and the wind on her face.

The metaphysical connection between two individuals lost into the scenery and in the moment is quite distant yet at the same time both people are as one lost in the same moment. I find this notion and sentiment very romantic and very intimate. The feelings and emotions are in union. I look at her and at the same time she looks at me; we smile. We understand each other, we understand the moment, we understand everything; without words. In just an instant with a quick glance we both communicate the splendor of the moment and then return to the abyss that is the drive.

Of course, the moment can be entirely different. Two people can be sitting on a couch watching tv and need not communicate to understand each other or reading books laying in bed. Then again, I can usually tell how someone is doing by looking into their eyes. So much can be said and understood by simply paying attention to one another.

Sometimes, just sometimes, these silent affirmations of unity can be more profound than spoken and direct words. I dare you to think of more moments where spoken words between yourself and another have meant more than the silent connections. During a wedding its all about the emotions and what is happening. Looking into the eyes of your lover and listening to the words and going through the motions. We all know the words; it isn't the words, its the affliction and the connection. What about laying next to each other after making love and just feeling each other breath and looking into the others eyes; the moment, the emotions, the connection.

You may be saying: "What about friends, huh? How can friends connect in the same way?!" Well, guys do this all the time. Think about how often men can sit together and watch tv, play a video game, drink some brews on the deck; and not say a word. Its the same connection, the same understanding, the same affirmation of the moment. "Yeah man, good beer, good food, good day" may go through both of their heads at the same time; a glance and a nod, perhaps the raising of the particular brew. Each person knows what the other is thinking and revels in the moment.

"What about women..." you may ask? Well, I'm a man, I can't wholly say. I don't really know if there are any silent moments and connections via action and deed without any spoken communications. So what do you think about that? Yeah, I don't know and really can't fairly say...

Monday, March 28, 2011

Development & Identity

Development of behavior, personality, and an identity is todays topic! I find it fascinating how inconsequential events in an individuals life can have resounding implications on the personality and identity. The end result is a dramatic adjustment in behavior.

I won't go into crackpot-Freudian theories because well they are way out there and really do not; in my humble opinion, hold any water whatsoever (apparently Freudian theories are boats?). One of the things that I find exceptionally interesting in the formation of personality and identity is simply the timing of puberty.

Early, late, or on time puberty can lead to quite different identities. For instance, if a woman develops earlier than the rest of her peers she will likely develop more severe body image issues and potentially be involved in increased sexual activity throughout her teens. Women that develop later are not in the clear! These women may develop poor self images due to inadequacies from late development.

Men; on the other hand, develop identities and personalities based on early or late puberty too! Men that develop earlier generally are more popular and looked up upon by their peers. However, due to this, men will continually strive to be more adult-like as their peers start to catch up. This leads to potential smoking, drug use, sex, and crime. Men that develop later are generally more quiet and picked on for being "less" of a man than their peers. Essentially with men you have your alpha males (those whom developed early) and beta males (those whom developed late).

Simply developing earlier or later can determine your personality and how an individual views themselves. This basic developmental period shoots ripples through the identity, which can last a life time! Consider that an alpha male may be more prone to violence and substance abuse throughout his entire life due to pressures placed upon him. Is the mean spirited drunk really just a dick or was he an overly pressured boy that developed earlier? Is the quiet man that never talks to anybody really quiet or is he a repressed man afraid to speak and possibly be chastised.

Don't try to get me wrong; the mean drunk is still a mean drunk but this really makes you think about how people develop into the people they are today. Perhaps, just perhaps, inside every adult is just a child that is trying to cope.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Mindfulness

As an extension of a previous post; I would like to take some time to talk about what mindfullness means to me.

Mindfulness is, well, being mindful about any action that I perform but it is also being mindful about what is going on around me. This is referred to inner and outer mindfulness. The western culture I live in may simply determine that mindfulness is simply awareness. Although mindfulness does take substantial awareness; mindfulness and awareness are different like the colors red and ruby are. The importance of mindfulness, to me, is to be able to wholly experience this vessel that we collectively call life or the human experience.

Inner Mindfulness
Inner mindfulness refers to my actions, my emotions, and my thoughts. Practicing mindfulness can be quite difficult because it takes consideration and forethought prior to carrying out a task. The way that I practice mindfulness in regards to mindful-actions is to think about what I am doing, how my actions will effect others, how my actions reflect upon myself, and what the outcome will be. This is not so different than how other people carry out their business. Mindful-action is quite simple and comes as a second nature. I take it further; however, because mindful-action to me is about acting in a manner that is helpful to the overall gamut of human experience. Carrying out duties and actions that foster the improvement (physical, psychological, or even temporary) of another person or creature. Yes, or a creature!

One of the hardest things, at least for me, is to be mindful about my emotions. Think about the last time that your emotions went wild; this is not unusual, most people feel strongly about many aspects of their life. That guy that passed me on the road, swerved in front of me, then slammed on his breaks and nearly hit me and the guy in front of me. Imagine the anger and the rage that you may feel from this example then understand how difficult how being mindful of your emotions can be. This is where mindfulness and awareness differ greatly. Being mindful of emotions is beyond simply acknowledging them. I strive to understand where my emotions are stemming from and what I can do to bring them back down to a sort of emotional-homeostasis. I take a look at what caused my emotion; the guy that passed me, and ask myself a question "Why does this make me mad?" Of course it makes me mad because of the physical danger that this oaf put not only himself but others in. I transition to the effect of the cause of my emotion. As a result of my emotion I am now in a poor mood, which ultimately could result in unmindful actions and thoughts (more on this later). The next step is to find a way, immediately, to remove the emotion and continue enjoying life. For me, and this is different with all practitioners of the way, I acknowledge my emotion and look at causation; is this really something to be upset about? Did this individual actually hurt somebody or him/herself or am I simply upset because of could-have-beens or would-have-beens? You can see where I am going with this, being mindful of my emotion I notice that in this example I really have no need to be upset; so I eliminate the feeling because it means nothing. Please note that it is okay to be upset and its wonderful to feel emotions but being mindful of them can remove unnecessary emotions.

Lastly (at least in this post), is mindful thought. Mindful thought or mindful-cognition. Mindful thought is similar to mindful emotion and mindful action in that it takes a bit of both. Emotions absolutely sway thought and in turn actions but also actions (either externally or internally) can create thoughts and in turn emotion! Thought is a sort of intermediary between emotion and action. This leads to really no explenation; be mindful of your thoughts to help control and eliminate poor actions and its effects on your emotions or poor emotions and the effects on your actions.

External Mindfulness
Turning focus and mindfulness from the self to others is also important. Other peoples actions absolutely affect myself but also other people and creatures around them too. Mindfulness in this sense, especially in regards to mindful action and others, is understanding what other people are doing and what can be done to help the individual or others around them. Sometimes this comes to mitigating conflicts and resolving the suffering of the individual, a group of people, or creatures around. If I see an upset person I will mindfully take action to try and remedy the situation. This can come via physically helping the person or talking/listening to what they have to say. An example is a man and his daughter moving a couch into an apartment by me. I notice that his daughter is maybe 12 or 13; probably too young to really help him. I lent a hand even though I was exceptionally busy at the time, I lent a hand. What does this mean in the scheme of things? Nothing, really, but I know that I did what I could to help eliminate some suffering at least for the time being.

Mindfulness: Consequences and Effects
I like this heading, the "consequences" of mindfulness; this is absurd and I like it. There are consequences and effects of being mindful, however. Possibly the only true consequence in a negative way is that it does take substantial practice and is not easy, perfect, or always functional! Of course, being mindful is still absolutely the best practice. As a simile, practicing mindfulness and not always being successful is like attempting to mop a floor while wearing muddy boots; not always easy and possibly a never ending practice, but mopping (mindfulness) is still worth cleaning up the mess left by the boots. I think this may actually be why many Buddhist monks sweep with brooms is to convey a message of practice and futility. I don't mean futility in a hopeless endeavor but in a never-ending long-lasting practice.

Anyway, I digress, the effects of mindfulness are far greater and worth the minor inconvenience and consequences. I feel that the best part of practicing mindfulness in all of its intricacies is the reaction I get from people. The best part is the smiles and the gratefulness I feel from people after really giving my attention and my whole mind into this existence. An example that I like to do is when walking down the street and you see someone coming I will often genuinely smile at them and say hello like I truly mean it; because I do. Saying "hello" to someone is usually awkward but when you actually mean it like you are happy to see them than the whole politic of it changes.

In summation; mindfulness leads to a generally better (happier, more calm, and peaceful) life, and I dig that. Also, try kissing someone next time you see them and put your whole attention into the kiss. A sincere honest kiss and put all of your mind into it. I bet it will be the best kiss ever; then, never kiss anybody any other way again!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Ethical Hedonism

I thought I would post a little about my own "faith" and spiritual beliefs. Relatively speaking, I am a Buddhist. There are many ideals and concepts that I really do jive with in terms of Buddhist practices. Open mindedness, empty mindedness, peacefulness, and duty towards others are all prefaces of my beliefs.

In essence, open mind and empty mind refer to mindfulness. Awareness and perceptiveness are key. This relates to the physical world but also the mind. Be aware of right action towards others, towards oneself, and towards all life. One of the best examples I can give in regards to right action and right thought is an example towards a janitor. Right action would entail doing the right thing not because it benefits the self but because it benefits the whole (all of society and betters the world). If I walk into a bathroom and see that a paper towel is wet and soggy on the ground than I absolutely take the steps to clean up the mess. This is something that is confounding to many people. Why would I possibly clean up after some stranger when some other stranger can clean it up?

Is this concept really so foreign? If I clean it up than some other stranger does not have to. It reduces the effort and strain of another individual. In the end, isn't this really the ideal that we all should strive for? The task is not important at all whatsoever. Cleaning up a measly towel does not cause a lot of strain or stress on another but doing my part is enough; I feel. Right action also refers to taking measures to make others lives better or to even make the self better. Obvious factors such as stealing, cheating, killing, lying, or perverting sexual interactions can lead to an improper way of life and is not just. In essence, right action can be simplified through what us westerners know as the golden rule: treat others as you want to be treated. However, my beliefs expand upon this ideal in that I treat others as wonderfully as I can; and that is it.

Other than helping others for seemingly selfless reasons, my beliefs are useful in keeping the mind quiet and at peace. Meditative practices allow me to deal with the pain and suffering that I come across. Pain and suffering in a traditional sense can mean tiredness, hunger, emotional stress from the day, stress from the environment, or socio-economical stresses. Clearing the mind by focusing on nothing allows everything to fade, which leads to a feeling of bliss and absolute quietness. I refer to this as an empty mind. The result of achieving an empty mind on a daily basis is that it dulls the suffering that I experience throughout the rest of the day. Please note that suffering can come from other stimuli such as the recent tragedies in Japan. I feel pain for the people that have been displaces; or worse. Focusing on clearing my mind can help me cope and deal with suffering like this.

Helping others in any capacity that I can; even the many faceless others that I will never meet, in addition to helping the self by relieving suffering results in a truly divine or blissful experience and quality of life. I have been asked recently how I can remain so calm in spite of my suffering; and this is why. I do what I can to improve the lives of others and bring smiles to faces or do what I can to eliminate suffering and I take measures to eliminate my own suffering.
My mind is empty, my body is free.

Now, to contradict what I say, psychologists would claim that I am ethically hedonistic. The ethical hedonist helps others because of the pleasure it makes them feel. I suppose I will leave it up to you. Am I simply ethically hedonistic or am I spiritually free?

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Scotland vs Ireland

Recently, it has come to my attention through great feuding that either Scotland or Ireland is the overall better country and thus the better people. First, however, an analysis:

Scotland
Scotland, according to historical theory, was settled approximately 5,000 to 9,000 years ago. Early history of the Scottish people include brief skirmishes with occupying Roman forces to the south. However, the Roman might was able to tackle Scotland; yet, only manage to hold the territory for around 50 years. Scottish tribes were known to route Roman occupying forces in the name of freedom and that the Romans would create a desert of the world.

Eventually, the Romans were removed entirely. The Pictish kingdom rose from the tribal lands of Scotland. Throughout the Pictish era in Scotland, Norse and Gaelic-speaking tribes were unified into an English speaking country. Unification of the tribes and language to be mostly English and Gaelic resulted in a two-hundred year old golden age. However, all golden ages must come to an end. The death of Alexander the 3rd and his granddaughter left Scotland unruled. Usurpation of the throne led to an eventual alliance with the French and eventually the Scottish Independence war as a result of internal Scottish struggle.

Independence from Britain was a long road for Scotland. Through the Scottish Renaissance, public education emerged in Europe and was essentially founded in Scotland. Public education in 1496 in Scotland was the first form of proper public education since the time of the Greeks! War with England, even with the aid of France, was eventually futile as the Scottish parliament signed over papal rights.

The 1600's was a famously tumultuous time for Scotland. Famine and poverty ravaged the people due to the Darien Scheme; a countrywide effort to secure trading colonies in Panama, and through the overturn of power from a Scottish born king of England. Desperation led Scottish parliament to sign the treaty of union and, along with Britain, become part of the whole Kingdom of Great Britain.

Ireland
Much like Scotland, Ireland was thought to be inhabited between 5,000 to 9,000 years ago with the retreating Glacial forces. Enormous fields used for farming have been found in Ireland. Some speculate to be the biggest in pre-historic time. Ireland was used as a major maritime trading post through most of the bronze age. Diffusion of cultures in the iron age resulted in more than a dozen Celtic tribes. The tribes each had their own king and loosely answered to the High King of Ireland. Some speculate that lineage to the High King spanned thousands of years.

Pallidius and Saint Patrick, in 431 A.D., brought Christianity to Ireland, which in turn theoretically peacefully routed druidic practices. Latin, Greek, and Christian theology flourished scholastically in Ireland during this period. Irish missionaries are partially responsible for the spread of Christianity after the eventual fall of Rome. Vikings, in the 9th century, were known to plunder and pillage Irish monasteries and towns.

Norman knights invaded Ireland in the late 1100's. Through Norman rule and orders from the Pope, Ireland was eventually turned over to John Lackland, son of Henry the second. Following the black plague, the church attempted to enforce a separation of English-Irish and Norman-Irish people unsuccessfully. Essentially, the English culture was routed and a new Norman-influenced Irish culture emerged.

English expansion wrought a series of wars and skirmishes that, according to theory, resulted in the death or displacement of over half of the Irish population. Some postulate that approximately 50,000 Irishmen were sold into slavery. Even following the war; penal codes and laws were implemented, which resulted in loss of civil rights and basic sundry necessities.

The Great Frost destroyed stored crops and resulted in poor growing conditions and ultimately culminated in the death of 250,000 Irish people. However, some time after The Great Frost, laws were repealed that nearly gave Ireland independence from Britain. Rebellions rose to become fully independent but were quickly brought down. In 1799, a law failed to bring unification to Britain and Ireland; however, in 1801 and through bribery, a unification was brought about, which solidified Ireland's place as part of The United King of Great Britain and Ireland.

Another tragedy, in 1840, befell Ireland: The Great Famine. The census in 1841 recorded Irish population at over 8 million. The famine resulted in the swift death of over a million Irish people with another million or more emigrating to escape the famine. Ireland, until 2006, has had a continuous population decline and has yet to recover its population.

The Fight
So ultimately the decision must come down to which is better. Scotland or Ireland. How can we classify the rank of a country based on its history? Perhaps the struggle between a Scottish friend of mine and me, of course being Irish, is futile. Ireland has a history of constant struggles, death, take-overs, and even slavery. Scotland seems to have a more successful albeit bloody history. I suppose I will rank the countries as follows:

Scotland Advantages: Successfully fought back the Roman empire and lasted quite awhile before the English. Public education was brought back in part due to Scotland.
Scotland Disadvantages: They aren't Irish, kidding. None. There are no disadvantages for Scotland.

Irish Advantages: Upwards to 16 early tribes on a small island and they didn't kill each other? That is a lesson we could all learn. Some would say the spread of Christianity through missionary teaching is a plus...
Irish Disadvantages: Through hard times, they had to cope somehow. It is no wonder why we drink... this recounting doesn't even mention American-Irish hard times!