Today I took a trip to Swartz Creek, Michigan to check out and experience a sensory deprivation tank (flotation tank) at Great Lakes Flotation. I first heard of sensory deprivation in college in psychology classes but never thought they were anything that people used commercially. A few weeks ago I heard an off-hand comment about these tanks from the Joe Rogan Experience and decided to check them out. From there I found Great Lakes Flotation as being the only location with tanks.
So to those that are not initiated with float tanks, a float tank is a tool with a myriad of benefits. I won't go into details or history of the float tank as so many others have - but a float tank is a tank that is loosely sealed to prevent any sound or light from penetrating the solitude of the experience. There is approximately ten inches of water with hundreds of pounds of Epsom salt in the water, which allows for buoyancy. The idea is fairly straight-forward - you get in the tank and close the hatch behind you then lay down on your back and float while centered in the tank (for best results, go nude - hey, everything is better nude, right?). After a certain amount of time (apparently variable based on the number of times you've been floating), your mind will lose track of your body and you'll enter a state of pure consciousness.
My intent to delve into a float tank was to clear my mind. I thought that if I could just disconnect my mind from my body then I would be able to experience a new state of consciousness. Sounds a bit far out but I thought the tank would be similar to my meditations except more profound or at least differently-effective. Those are my guesses at least.
First - I've got to say that the facilities are very pleasant and Terri Stangl, the owner, is wonderful. Terri absolutely made me feel welcome and at ease, which was nice as I wasn't exactly sure what to expect and was a bit nervous to begin with. Regardless, Terri eased my nervousness by answering my questions and giving me many tips as well as a helpful introduction.
So to my experience at hand. I showered up as you're supposed to do, then dried off my face and hands and put in my ear plugs. I opened the tank and looked inside. The tank is not nearly as imposing as one might assume. The inside, when lit, is blue as a swimming pool is and the water clear. Though the tank is full of hundreds of pounds of salt - you cannot smell the salt whatsoever. So I step in very carefully as I was warned that the water is silky smooth and the tank may be slippery. I cautiously step in then kneel down and close the hatch behind me. "Well this is it" I thought "Might as well roll over, get on my back, and slide back then center myself in the tank."
I slide back and use my arms to reach out and feel the sides of the tank in an attempt to center myself. Once I feel as if I'm centered I slowly let go of the sides and bring my arms to my side. Turns out I was drifting slightly and it took me quite awhile to really get myself centered. Each time I hit the wall I push back with just a slight flick of my finger. Though truth be told I think this took me a bit longer than normal but I'm certain this is a newbie thing. Anyway, turns out that my arms to my side was not comfortable to me while floating so I moved my arms up above my head as suggested by Terri. I then had to center myself again, which I've got to say took a little while, too.
Eventually I was successful in centering myself in the tank and I then start to feel my mind detach from my body. I first noticed it in my legs - I would say that my legs felt a numbness but that isn't really the case but its closest to the feeling. To me, it felt as if my legs totally vanished, I guess - this is very hard to explain. Numbness comes with feeling uncomfortable and with a tingle but this was simply a lack of feeling as if my legs were gone. Anyway, next came my fingers then my arms then my chest. My head was last and as soon as my head vanished I felt as if time literally stopped. Not only did I feel as if my body didn't exist I was fairly certain that I never had a body.
Totally trippy, right? So here I am existing with only a heart-beat, my breath, and the ability to open my eyes, which I will admit allowed for the difference of pitch-black with my eyes shut and pitch black with my eyes open. I found it most comfortable for my eyes to be almost closed. Not open and definitely not closed. I tried both for awhile to see what was best but I eventually decided that was the opposite of what I was trying to do. I needed to totally let go at this point if I wanted to succeed in this float.
So with my body existing in a seemingly different plane my mind was free to float on. At first there was nothing. As far as I knew I was just a dismembered mind existing in nothingness. For who-knows-how-long I sat there in total nothingness. My mind was still and there was not a single thought. I honestly cannot say how long this went on - felt like hours though. After this period of clarity my mind decided it had enough. It needed something, anything. So suddenly and without warning I saw a small faint dancing white light. I lazily followed this light with my eyes and just as suddenly it exploded and with it came a sort of screeching-static sound. The burst was fast and the sound brief. After this point my brain was not still.
Immediately following the explosion of white-light my brain was adrift in a sea of stars, nebula's, and galaxies. My brain created a body for me to float in, oddly enough, and there I am soaring through space in silence. The space is remarkable with bright greens, blues, and purples. In this moment I feel an intense closeness with the universe. I am this entity soaring through space faster than light and am everything and nothing at once. My mind starts to think of radical ideas and atomic structures that encompass all of reality. I come up with the thought that instantaneous travel could be attained through discovering the right resonance with the right atomic structures to open a gateway to far away places or dimensions. Discovering the resonance to react with atoms is the key and a device, which allows the creation of atomic resonance, was then in my hands.
Next I can feel myself being swept away, out of my control. I feel fear that my mind will be pushed away and that I'll not be able to return. While I'm being swept away I actually physically feel this motion too. Then in an instant I feel my hand touch the side of the tank - and just like that I'm relatively aware of my real body again and realized the tank moved me. Turns out this was part of a cycling mechanism that usually is not on during use.
No matter as I quickly was able to center myself in the tank. My body was still totally non-existent and within five minutes I was back to a clear mind-state where time had stopped. Again, a white light erupts out of the darkness with the same sound and I'm back to floating in space. This time things are a lot less coherent in terms of what I'm floating in. Mostly, this time, I'm experiencing dancing colors and shapes. This goes on for awhile, again time is totally an abstract thought.
After an nondeterminate amount of time I have the vision of a couple eating dinner in a sky-rise and the woman looks at the man and says "What is that, what is that light?" In the distance through the windows I see a faint white light erupting. The man looks at her and says "I don't know, what is that?" The white light envelopes everything along with the noise and the vision and couple are gone. At this point I get the feeling that the white light and sound is meant to embody destruction and creation, death and rebirth. It isn't dreadful or frightening - it is simply a thing that is, much like a breath in and a breath out.
After this realization my mind returns to calm, to quiet, to peace. I lay there totally blinked out of existence and then I hear two quick knocks. I recognize this as Terri signaling that my float is over. I then reach over with my left hand and knock back, signaling that I understand.
I sit up in the darkness slowly and come to my senses a little. My head, chest, arms, and legs decide to attach themselves to my mind as I clamor to all fours and slowly move forward. I open the hatch and there is light and I'm stunned briefly and there I am on my knees in the light and my mind is totally empty. Carefully, I reach for the handle-grip and pull myself to a standing position and step out. I pull my earplugs out and set them on the table where I immediately can smell the salt overwhelmingly and feel water on my skin as it drips down. I find it interesting how I could not smell the salt beforehand and exiting I could smell it as if I snorted a line of salt.
I take my post-shower as instructed and dry off then get dressed. Terri prepared for me some warm green tea that awaited me in a nice peaceful room with gentle music. Terri joined me and asked how it went and we discussed my experience then discussed a few other topics, too. Fortunately for my experience, my mind was totally blank and I physically felt as if my head was hollow. I was absolutely at peace and relaxed to a level I've never felt before. Usually my brain is full of deep thoughts yet in that moment I could not pose anything that was complex whatsoever. For that I apologize Terri - truthfully I can carry on conversations with depth!
With all that being said, my two-hours in the float tank was a great experience and I'll absolutely be going back for more. I think subsequent floats will be much more productive as I've learned how to center myself and what to expect. Great Lakes Flotation was a fantastic place as well and Terri is a marvelous person, too. She even went ahead to suggest a new flotation center closer to where I live but truth be told I had such a great experience that I am in no way opposed to making a slightly further trip to know I'm in Terri's good hands.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Monday, November 26, 2012
The Walking Dead
Last week I came down with what I assume is some sort of bubonic plague. I've essentially not left my couch or bed for close to a week. During my lapse through the American Thanksgiving and kick-off to "Winter-holiday" season, I picked up my roommates The Walking Dead graphic novels written by Robert Kirkman. I have also caught up on the television series of the same name on AMC.
The correlations between the two are; well, basic to say the least. Some similar characters, which includes the major characters. I must say that I'm not upset that the television series takes liberties in its story. There are some very big differences that happen in the television series opposed to the comics; yet, the differences are played out quite well.
What I want to bring up is the art style in the novels. The art is purely shades of gray, black, and white but the art is fantastic. The limited "colors" used can be intentionally weaved to play on major themes of human emotion. In one pane, for example, a characters shading with a black face during a tense moment can convey more than the words being said. For instance, in one pane Rick Grimes (the main character) discusses how he ruthlessly murdered a man to protect his people. This discussion comes within an issue of Rick telling his people that there is to be no killing whatsoever. Ricks face is depicted in black in contrast to the sharp white and gray shades of the faces in the background. The look of disgust on the peoples faces in the background tells the whole story along with the dialogue; however, the shadowed face tells more. Rick has betrayed his words, betrayed his people, and has become nothing more than a shadow of what he once was.
Maybe I'm looking into this one a little much - let me pose another example.
During this same issue, Mishonne (basically action-girl) is seeking vengeance to some horrible atrocities done against her. In her dialogue box she simply states that she can't leave quite yet. The shading is drawn perfectly to detail exactly what is going to happen - foreshadowing in its simplest form, also a pun. The shadowing gives Mishonne a sunken appearance or an appearance that is gaunt and shows outlines her skull. I feel that this was done intentionally to tell a tale of her deathly intentions or perhaps to show her grim emotion. Mishonne is about to act in a way that if she does carry out her intentions than she is leaving part of her behind. The death-skull visage; in my opinion, shows the metaphorical death of a part of Mishonne.
Of course, The Walking Dead isn't just a zombie tale. In fact, I see it more of a depressive correlation to the human condition and the struggle we all face. The zombies themselves represent nothing more than hurdles and strife though through the story the zombies are physically a very real problem. The characters constantly go through periods of loss, happiness, unity, and then back to loss - much in the way that people have to deal with loss and seek happiness and companionship.
These themes are present in many forms of entertainment media so nothing new under the sun, I guess. Still - I find it interesting to see how an isolated group of characters interact with one another with their real threat outside their fences at all times. Also, the interactions between the main group of characters and living outsiders is interesting as these interactions show the true nature of the main characters. Similarly to reality, it is the interactions with others that define us. Our values, morals, and ethics are tested each day with each person we meet.
I suppose for now I'll get back to reading some more and nursing this plague. If I succumb to this plague - maybe next time I write I'll be reporting from the other end as one of The Walking Dead.
The correlations between the two are; well, basic to say the least. Some similar characters, which includes the major characters. I must say that I'm not upset that the television series takes liberties in its story. There are some very big differences that happen in the television series opposed to the comics; yet, the differences are played out quite well.
What I want to bring up is the art style in the novels. The art is purely shades of gray, black, and white but the art is fantastic. The limited "colors" used can be intentionally weaved to play on major themes of human emotion. In one pane, for example, a characters shading with a black face during a tense moment can convey more than the words being said. For instance, in one pane Rick Grimes (the main character) discusses how he ruthlessly murdered a man to protect his people. This discussion comes within an issue of Rick telling his people that there is to be no killing whatsoever. Ricks face is depicted in black in contrast to the sharp white and gray shades of the faces in the background. The look of disgust on the peoples faces in the background tells the whole story along with the dialogue; however, the shadowed face tells more. Rick has betrayed his words, betrayed his people, and has become nothing more than a shadow of what he once was.
Maybe I'm looking into this one a little much - let me pose another example.
During this same issue, Mishonne (basically action-girl) is seeking vengeance to some horrible atrocities done against her. In her dialogue box she simply states that she can't leave quite yet. The shading is drawn perfectly to detail exactly what is going to happen - foreshadowing in its simplest form, also a pun. The shadowing gives Mishonne a sunken appearance or an appearance that is gaunt and shows outlines her skull. I feel that this was done intentionally to tell a tale of her deathly intentions or perhaps to show her grim emotion. Mishonne is about to act in a way that if she does carry out her intentions than she is leaving part of her behind. The death-skull visage; in my opinion, shows the metaphorical death of a part of Mishonne.
Of course, The Walking Dead isn't just a zombie tale. In fact, I see it more of a depressive correlation to the human condition and the struggle we all face. The zombies themselves represent nothing more than hurdles and strife though through the story the zombies are physically a very real problem. The characters constantly go through periods of loss, happiness, unity, and then back to loss - much in the way that people have to deal with loss and seek happiness and companionship.
These themes are present in many forms of entertainment media so nothing new under the sun, I guess. Still - I find it interesting to see how an isolated group of characters interact with one another with their real threat outside their fences at all times. Also, the interactions between the main group of characters and living outsiders is interesting as these interactions show the true nature of the main characters. Similarly to reality, it is the interactions with others that define us. Our values, morals, and ethics are tested each day with each person we meet.
I suppose for now I'll get back to reading some more and nursing this plague. If I succumb to this plague - maybe next time I write I'll be reporting from the other end as one of The Walking Dead.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Redesigned; Reinvented.
Been awhile. A long while.
Finished up my last year of college for the time being. Though a Bachelors is a commendable capstone for the time being; I'll have to head back eventually with my goals in mind. With that being said, I'll likely get back to blogging now and again - I have free time again and it is winter so I have no excuse but to be more creative.
I spent some time tonight to redesign and reinvent the purpose of the blog. Some posts have been removed to fall in line with my idea of the blog. I have also updated the visual appeal of the blog to make use of colors and themes that are more appealing. Although I am writing as a release for myself, I realize that I should be making this more accessible to the non-self.
Some things I would like to start to include are some educational articles and possibly some interpretations of what they mean. I suppose that I should do what I can to spread knowledge as an educated man. I may also start sketching again and doing some art and post work. I have always liked to be artistic but never pursued it seriously though maybe I should.
I also will now have time to start reading more often so I can bring posts and insight into what I am reading. Also, I think I will start to take up small bits of writing - what better place to post writing than a blog, eh? Some of you know I will write Haiku now and again - possibly I'll look into branching into real poetry though I just flat out don't grok it.
Anyway, more to come.
Finished up my last year of college for the time being. Though a Bachelors is a commendable capstone for the time being; I'll have to head back eventually with my goals in mind. With that being said, I'll likely get back to blogging now and again - I have free time again and it is winter so I have no excuse but to be more creative.
I spent some time tonight to redesign and reinvent the purpose of the blog. Some posts have been removed to fall in line with my idea of the blog. I have also updated the visual appeal of the blog to make use of colors and themes that are more appealing. Although I am writing as a release for myself, I realize that I should be making this more accessible to the non-self.
Some things I would like to start to include are some educational articles and possibly some interpretations of what they mean. I suppose that I should do what I can to spread knowledge as an educated man. I may also start sketching again and doing some art and post work. I have always liked to be artistic but never pursued it seriously though maybe I should.
I also will now have time to start reading more often so I can bring posts and insight into what I am reading. Also, I think I will start to take up small bits of writing - what better place to post writing than a blog, eh? Some of you know I will write Haiku now and again - possibly I'll look into branching into real poetry though I just flat out don't grok it.
Anyway, more to come.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Love & Suffering
I think I'll stop at this post regarding love as most good things end in three: three hot dogs, three drinks, three mice (whom may even be blind), and three wives.
A few definitions first, generally psychologically ascribed:
Intimacy: Intimacy is a intellectual and connective bond. This can be a man finding friendship with a man, a woman, his dog, his childhood tree fort, or lucky sock. Intimacy is the connective force that draws, generally, people together to share themselves
Passion: Passion is usually sex or physical love but shares a connection with the physical sensation.
Keep these two distinguished terms separate as when I mean intimate relationship I don't necessarily mean sexual relationship.
I suppose my entire point of discussing love and my views is to convey a sense of the end of suffering and a push for all that is the opposite of suffering. Love is one of the strongest emotions that humans can express and feel yet coupled with this strong emotion is loss or the sense of loss, jealousy. In our western Christian society love is meant for one person and one person alone and it is forbidden to share love with any other as this is adultery. Bullocks I say!
I've personally found that the expression of love and interest creates suffering and harm even in an innocent fashion. As an example, lets suppose a husband and a wife exist (no way!). The husband meets an amazing woman at work and they begin to talk and discover they have a really close bond but truly nothing happens. The wife will assume that the husband is having sex with this new woman even when the husband discusses to the contrary. So what we have here is the suffering of the woman's jealousy and distrust. Also the suffering of the husband for being denied to see or be close with this other woman. Lastly is the suffering of the woman whom is essentially chastised if not actually than metaphysically for being friends with the wife's husband.
From the perspective of the wife: "I can't believe that tramp is trying to get with my husband. What does my husband see in her? Am I not good enough for him? I bet their sleeping together." So from this perspective there is all kinds of suffering. The wife experiences anxiety, jealousy, clinging (remember that?), and self-inadequacy. Why does the wife need to put herself through all this. After all, her husband has told her that nothing is going on. Obviously she does not trust her husband and is wrought with grief from her own self-inadequacies. Marriage is a union of peoples with mutual trust and love so naturally the husbands words should be enough to soothe the wife. Anything else means that trust is absolutely not part of the union. Perhaps the trust issue isn't with the wife's husband but with this tramp, this hussy, this slut of a woman trying to tempt her husband. Why does this trust issue occur? In this hypothetical situation lets assume that truly and honestly the woman seeks only friendship from the husband and has made no moves whatsoever. The wife in this case has absolutely no reason to not trust the woman yet she does. Suffering is created in the head of the wife and is not necessary.
From the perspective of the husband: "I love my wife and I found a woman who shares my intellectual (yeah right, an intellectual man... now I'm pushing it) thoughts and shares a loving bond with me. There is no passionate interest between me and the woman and I tell my wife this, why must she mistrust me so?" Suffering is created by the husband based on his wives issue with trust. The husband may even assume that he truly is doing something wrong and that his new found love of a friend is somehow wrong. Thus the husband may retract his friendship or be wary to seek friendship with other females. The man will deny part of himself in the process to satiate his wife. This part of himself will fester away with the suffering.
From the perspective of the woman: "I really like this man; hell I love this man. I am glad him and I can be close friends without sexual desires getting in the way. It is nice to share intimate feelings and be close with our interests." The suffering for the woman is mostly internal. She knows the wife does not trust her and this causes internal strife and worry that conversations with the husband are causing problems. Further suffering is created when the husband tells her that his wife makes comments about their friendly and loving relationship.
This scenario is one of many but I feel exemplifies my whole ideal of free love the best. A man or a woman has the absolute universal right to seek the least amount of suffering. This obviously only works with honorable and truthful individuals as honesty itself is a path of least suffering. I may blog about that subject in the future. If the husband tells his wife that nothing is going on and that they share a bond than the wife needs to be understanding and comfortable with her husbands intimate friendship with another woman. Of course, in my personal beliefs, the same can go for passionate relations too as long as both couples are honest and sincere about what is going on.
To many, I think, this all may seem like an elaborate way to sleep around but truth be told its all about seeking love and passion while we live on this planet. Love is all around us and I firmly believe that we should all seek it out! Love one person for your life? That is the most tragic thing I can think of and I do mean this most sincerely. I seek intimacy from men and women and passion when I feel intimately connected enough with a woman.
In our western culture I feel that the intimacy and passion has taken a sinister turn to the point that innocent intimacy has turned into an atrocity.
Please don't go out and sleep around on your spouse. That is not the message I am conveying. You made an oath to your spouse to be faithful to only them so keep it! Integrity and honor is part of the pursuit of harmony and lack of suffering, too. The message is this: please find your path of happiness and your reduction of suffering. Work out the root of the reason that causes jealousy, trust issues, self-inadequacies, etc. Work out these problems and flourish in love! Find your path to harmony and share love with the world.
A few definitions first, generally psychologically ascribed:
Intimacy: Intimacy is a intellectual and connective bond. This can be a man finding friendship with a man, a woman, his dog, his childhood tree fort, or lucky sock. Intimacy is the connective force that draws, generally, people together to share themselves
Passion: Passion is usually sex or physical love but shares a connection with the physical sensation.
Keep these two distinguished terms separate as when I mean intimate relationship I don't necessarily mean sexual relationship.
I suppose my entire point of discussing love and my views is to convey a sense of the end of suffering and a push for all that is the opposite of suffering. Love is one of the strongest emotions that humans can express and feel yet coupled with this strong emotion is loss or the sense of loss, jealousy. In our western Christian society love is meant for one person and one person alone and it is forbidden to share love with any other as this is adultery. Bullocks I say!
I've personally found that the expression of love and interest creates suffering and harm even in an innocent fashion. As an example, lets suppose a husband and a wife exist (no way!). The husband meets an amazing woman at work and they begin to talk and discover they have a really close bond but truly nothing happens. The wife will assume that the husband is having sex with this new woman even when the husband discusses to the contrary. So what we have here is the suffering of the woman's jealousy and distrust. Also the suffering of the husband for being denied to see or be close with this other woman. Lastly is the suffering of the woman whom is essentially chastised if not actually than metaphysically for being friends with the wife's husband.
From the perspective of the wife: "I can't believe that tramp is trying to get with my husband. What does my husband see in her? Am I not good enough for him? I bet their sleeping together." So from this perspective there is all kinds of suffering. The wife experiences anxiety, jealousy, clinging (remember that?), and self-inadequacy. Why does the wife need to put herself through all this. After all, her husband has told her that nothing is going on. Obviously she does not trust her husband and is wrought with grief from her own self-inadequacies. Marriage is a union of peoples with mutual trust and love so naturally the husbands words should be enough to soothe the wife. Anything else means that trust is absolutely not part of the union. Perhaps the trust issue isn't with the wife's husband but with this tramp, this hussy, this slut of a woman trying to tempt her husband. Why does this trust issue occur? In this hypothetical situation lets assume that truly and honestly the woman seeks only friendship from the husband and has made no moves whatsoever. The wife in this case has absolutely no reason to not trust the woman yet she does. Suffering is created in the head of the wife and is not necessary.
From the perspective of the husband: "I love my wife and I found a woman who shares my intellectual (yeah right, an intellectual man... now I'm pushing it) thoughts and shares a loving bond with me. There is no passionate interest between me and the woman and I tell my wife this, why must she mistrust me so?" Suffering is created by the husband based on his wives issue with trust. The husband may even assume that he truly is doing something wrong and that his new found love of a friend is somehow wrong. Thus the husband may retract his friendship or be wary to seek friendship with other females. The man will deny part of himself in the process to satiate his wife. This part of himself will fester away with the suffering.
From the perspective of the woman: "I really like this man; hell I love this man. I am glad him and I can be close friends without sexual desires getting in the way. It is nice to share intimate feelings and be close with our interests." The suffering for the woman is mostly internal. She knows the wife does not trust her and this causes internal strife and worry that conversations with the husband are causing problems. Further suffering is created when the husband tells her that his wife makes comments about their friendly and loving relationship.
This scenario is one of many but I feel exemplifies my whole ideal of free love the best. A man or a woman has the absolute universal right to seek the least amount of suffering. This obviously only works with honorable and truthful individuals as honesty itself is a path of least suffering. I may blog about that subject in the future. If the husband tells his wife that nothing is going on and that they share a bond than the wife needs to be understanding and comfortable with her husbands intimate friendship with another woman. Of course, in my personal beliefs, the same can go for passionate relations too as long as both couples are honest and sincere about what is going on.
To many, I think, this all may seem like an elaborate way to sleep around but truth be told its all about seeking love and passion while we live on this planet. Love is all around us and I firmly believe that we should all seek it out! Love one person for your life? That is the most tragic thing I can think of and I do mean this most sincerely. I seek intimacy from men and women and passion when I feel intimately connected enough with a woman.
In our western culture I feel that the intimacy and passion has taken a sinister turn to the point that innocent intimacy has turned into an atrocity.
Please don't go out and sleep around on your spouse. That is not the message I am conveying. You made an oath to your spouse to be faithful to only them so keep it! Integrity and honor is part of the pursuit of harmony and lack of suffering, too. The message is this: please find your path of happiness and your reduction of suffering. Work out the root of the reason that causes jealousy, trust issues, self-inadequacies, etc. Work out these problems and flourish in love! Find your path to harmony and share love with the world.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Clinging
I think this relates to love in a sort of way so I will continue my "however-many-long" segment on love.
As a forewarning. This whole post is going to make you think I'm a heartless monster. Maybe I am.
Clinging is something we all do in general. We cling to our car, our jobs, our puppies, our food, and our loved ones. A question I commonly ask myself is "what good does all this clinging bring us?" The obvious answer is comfort and joy when we are with whatever we cling to. Ya know how it goes when you're in your car with your dog eating a burger and just everything is great. Lets assume you crash and lose your puppy, your car, and god forbid your burger and you are unscathed. Of course losing the puppy is a bad thing I mean this is the loss of a life! What a horrible thing. However, we're oh so often used to clinging to things far to much and do not allow us to get over the loss as quickly as we should (more on this down below). Furthermore, your car is gone too! You've had this car for so long and you absolutely loved it and now its gone! PLUS THE BURGER IS SPLATTERED ON THE WINDSHIELD!!! Now you're left with sorrow for your puppy, regret for your car, and absolute starvation for your burger.
Some of my clever readers (all three of you ha-ha) already know what I am getting at. The result of clinging is loss and suffering. Suffering is no good at all. the reduction of clinging directly is attributed to the reduction of suffering at loss. I think the best way to do this is sort of through reverse-clinging - a sort of pre-understanding that everything will go and pass us by. I think to myself now; perhaps morbidly, that someday my dog is going to die and that I'm okay with that (Hypothetical dog, I don't have a dog). This is where I can see your face a gasp at me saying that. Of course I don't want my hypothetical dog to hypothetically die and certainly there is grief and mourning to be done for the passing of such a furry beast. Thats besides the point. The point truly is that coming to terms with the passing a way to reduce clinging and thus suffering.
That subject I find to be quite difficult. We all lose people and animals. It is hard - I guess I don't have much of an answer for that. Lets move on for now. What about the car. Your first car that got you through your late high school years, through college, and through many years in your career. This car has seen a lot and spent many good and bad nights with you. You have slept in your car and camped out of the back of your car. The car kept you safe through the coldness and the hotness - and now it is gone. What good is it to have all this clinging to a material object? What if the object weren't a car but something else; perhaps a necklace? The necklace gets stolen and you then feel victimized and feel loss for something of sentiment. Ah-hah! There is the word that is entirely clinging, sentiment!
Something with a sort of sentiment is an object that holds a value beyond its intrinsic existence. This band of gold on my left ring finger is more than a band of gold because it was given to me with a certain oath. If I lose it I will certainly get flak from my betrothed and also feel guilty and regret for losing it. Lets say I don't lose it, then what? Well I live constantly with fear that maybe I will lose it. Even if I am not thinking about it there is always the nagging thought somewhere rattling around. Symbols are fine, sure, but when such a sentiment is placed on an object than it creates suffering both during loss and while the object is around. I think this circles around to developing a pre-understanding that an object will be departed. My car is someday going to reside in a junk heap and then reincarnate as an entirely different structure. This gold ring is nothing more than a band of metal. If I lose it than it is gone.
Now, to the most important aspect, the burger. There you are on the side of the road. Weeping for your puppy, struck with awe from your car and with a rumbling belly. Well... this is a biological occurrence. You'll always be hungry. I'm not saving you from this! Take what I've said and apply it to your mortal food gratification!
As a forewarning. This whole post is going to make you think I'm a heartless monster. Maybe I am.
Clinging is something we all do in general. We cling to our car, our jobs, our puppies, our food, and our loved ones. A question I commonly ask myself is "what good does all this clinging bring us?" The obvious answer is comfort and joy when we are with whatever we cling to. Ya know how it goes when you're in your car with your dog eating a burger and just everything is great. Lets assume you crash and lose your puppy, your car, and god forbid your burger and you are unscathed. Of course losing the puppy is a bad thing I mean this is the loss of a life! What a horrible thing. However, we're oh so often used to clinging to things far to much and do not allow us to get over the loss as quickly as we should (more on this down below). Furthermore, your car is gone too! You've had this car for so long and you absolutely loved it and now its gone! PLUS THE BURGER IS SPLATTERED ON THE WINDSHIELD!!! Now you're left with sorrow for your puppy, regret for your car, and absolute starvation for your burger.
Some of my clever readers (all three of you ha-ha) already know what I am getting at. The result of clinging is loss and suffering. Suffering is no good at all. the reduction of clinging directly is attributed to the reduction of suffering at loss. I think the best way to do this is sort of through reverse-clinging - a sort of pre-understanding that everything will go and pass us by. I think to myself now; perhaps morbidly, that someday my dog is going to die and that I'm okay with that (Hypothetical dog, I don't have a dog). This is where I can see your face a gasp at me saying that. Of course I don't want my hypothetical dog to hypothetically die and certainly there is grief and mourning to be done for the passing of such a furry beast. Thats besides the point. The point truly is that coming to terms with the passing a way to reduce clinging and thus suffering.
That subject I find to be quite difficult. We all lose people and animals. It is hard - I guess I don't have much of an answer for that. Lets move on for now. What about the car. Your first car that got you through your late high school years, through college, and through many years in your career. This car has seen a lot and spent many good and bad nights with you. You have slept in your car and camped out of the back of your car. The car kept you safe through the coldness and the hotness - and now it is gone. What good is it to have all this clinging to a material object? What if the object weren't a car but something else; perhaps a necklace? The necklace gets stolen and you then feel victimized and feel loss for something of sentiment. Ah-hah! There is the word that is entirely clinging, sentiment!
Something with a sort of sentiment is an object that holds a value beyond its intrinsic existence. This band of gold on my left ring finger is more than a band of gold because it was given to me with a certain oath. If I lose it I will certainly get flak from my betrothed and also feel guilty and regret for losing it. Lets say I don't lose it, then what? Well I live constantly with fear that maybe I will lose it. Even if I am not thinking about it there is always the nagging thought somewhere rattling around. Symbols are fine, sure, but when such a sentiment is placed on an object than it creates suffering both during loss and while the object is around. I think this circles around to developing a pre-understanding that an object will be departed. My car is someday going to reside in a junk heap and then reincarnate as an entirely different structure. This gold ring is nothing more than a band of metal. If I lose it than it is gone.
Now, to the most important aspect, the burger. There you are on the side of the road. Weeping for your puppy, struck with awe from your car and with a rumbling belly. Well... this is a biological occurrence. You'll always be hungry. I'm not saving you from this! Take what I've said and apply it to your mortal food gratification!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Music
From a chemical standpoint I often wonder how music affects the body and how it affects the mind. I am personally a firm believer that with the proper personal subjective mood that music can sway any attitude and action. I think first we need an example to really prove this point. Go to the following video and listen to this music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75hvC506VYI
Yep, the music is from a video game (art and music + video games more to come in a later post). The music is calming, soothing, relaxing... if you are open to the theme of the music you will probably be soothed by it. The music is steady and sorrowful so it imparts a certain mood.
Now please follow me into my brain... and I realize this is a scary endeavor I ask but do not fear. I am going to a complex musical theory place that involves chemistry and neuroscience. I'll try to explain as my thoughts come.
First, sound is produced by atomic masses colliding, which cause disturbances in nearby atomic masses such as air through which sound waves travel. When atomics collide they make a sound, which then releases the wave in which we audibly detect. So my initial question is: how does sound affect carbon-based biological forms such as ourselves? None, really. The sound waves and vibrating gaseous particles affect us only in the sense that our bodies stop the wave.
I guess to jump forward I'd like to discuss dancing and rhythmic movements. Why do people dance and what causes action through music? I really do believe that atomic particles moving around our persons in certain ways do actually affect our mood, our movements, and our attitudes. Of course we have that pesky "human will' that was given to us so we really can control how we feel at a particular moment regardless of music. However, as I mentioned before, what if our composure were different? What if I were ready to relax and felt the need to put on some music to adjoin my mood. If I listen to the previously posted clip of music I may be more interested in actually reaching relaxation.
So to the next point, which is actually prior to the previous paragraph (I know, confusing huh... going all Tarantino on you...). Sound waves collide and affect our sound receptors, which are transmitted via electrical signal to our brain that interprets what we hear. As we understand chemical/electrical transmissions is as the following: sound waves affect our ear drum, which is picked up through internal ear processes and transmitted as signals via chemical transmissions that is in turn passed on via neural pathways. The auditory portion of the brain must then make sense of these sounds but how and why exactly does it process music? Why do somber tunes make me somber in attitude and mood or relaxed?
I'm going to be blunt and bold I suppose in this next statement. As a forewarning, I am not a doctor and am not credible as any source for this statement: this is only my opinion. Specific tones of sound waves affect our auditory processes differently causing the release of various chemicals based on the sound tone. Somber tones and music quality relate directly to brain patterns and my change in mood. If I am ready and willing for these tones I am essentially telling my body "hey, its totally okay to let your guard down so please release X chemicals in addition to what you hear." So to put it scientifically (hey, piss off by the way, I'm a science major!) being receptive to certain moods allows for the chemical processes to be strengthened based upon the individual sound wave patterns through interception via atomic collisions.
Woah... I heard it. I am actually posing the theory that sound wave structure affects the way that chemicals are thrown across the synapses and in specific quantities. I don't have a way to prove this... I can only state a hypothesis. However, I'm right (at least I'm convinced). Listen to this clip (another video game, piss off).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jCvfEYHLVQ&feature=related
How does it make you feel? Probably not energized and amped up to participate in a triathlon. At a complex theory, each and every note even down to per millisecond directly changes our mood. Our brain is constantly making adjustments to decide "what the fuck is going on here." We're constantly assaulted by noise and music, at times, which affect us at all times. Go to a screamo show and you'll probably leave all amped up and/or angry (for whatever reason, it works).
So I suppose I digress slightly. When it comes down to it what I am really trying to say is that every tone changes how we feel whether we resist it or not. The physical transactions between colliding atomic particles and our person, which affects chemical interactions and electrical signals ultimately changes our atomic disposition towards how we are. Yep. I have arrived at this point. Music changes who we are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75hvC506VYI
Yep, the music is from a video game (art and music + video games more to come in a later post). The music is calming, soothing, relaxing... if you are open to the theme of the music you will probably be soothed by it. The music is steady and sorrowful so it imparts a certain mood.
Now please follow me into my brain... and I realize this is a scary endeavor I ask but do not fear. I am going to a complex musical theory place that involves chemistry and neuroscience. I'll try to explain as my thoughts come.
First, sound is produced by atomic masses colliding, which cause disturbances in nearby atomic masses such as air through which sound waves travel. When atomics collide they make a sound, which then releases the wave in which we audibly detect. So my initial question is: how does sound affect carbon-based biological forms such as ourselves? None, really. The sound waves and vibrating gaseous particles affect us only in the sense that our bodies stop the wave.
I guess to jump forward I'd like to discuss dancing and rhythmic movements. Why do people dance and what causes action through music? I really do believe that atomic particles moving around our persons in certain ways do actually affect our mood, our movements, and our attitudes. Of course we have that pesky "human will' that was given to us so we really can control how we feel at a particular moment regardless of music. However, as I mentioned before, what if our composure were different? What if I were ready to relax and felt the need to put on some music to adjoin my mood. If I listen to the previously posted clip of music I may be more interested in actually reaching relaxation.
So to the next point, which is actually prior to the previous paragraph (I know, confusing huh... going all Tarantino on you...). Sound waves collide and affect our sound receptors, which are transmitted via electrical signal to our brain that interprets what we hear. As we understand chemical/electrical transmissions is as the following: sound waves affect our ear drum, which is picked up through internal ear processes and transmitted as signals via chemical transmissions that is in turn passed on via neural pathways. The auditory portion of the brain must then make sense of these sounds but how and why exactly does it process music? Why do somber tunes make me somber in attitude and mood or relaxed?
I'm going to be blunt and bold I suppose in this next statement. As a forewarning, I am not a doctor and am not credible as any source for this statement: this is only my opinion. Specific tones of sound waves affect our auditory processes differently causing the release of various chemicals based on the sound tone. Somber tones and music quality relate directly to brain patterns and my change in mood. If I am ready and willing for these tones I am essentially telling my body "hey, its totally okay to let your guard down so please release X chemicals in addition to what you hear." So to put it scientifically (hey, piss off by the way, I'm a science major!) being receptive to certain moods allows for the chemical processes to be strengthened based upon the individual sound wave patterns through interception via atomic collisions.
Woah... I heard it. I am actually posing the theory that sound wave structure affects the way that chemicals are thrown across the synapses and in specific quantities. I don't have a way to prove this... I can only state a hypothesis. However, I'm right (at least I'm convinced). Listen to this clip (another video game, piss off).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jCvfEYHLVQ&feature=related
How does it make you feel? Probably not energized and amped up to participate in a triathlon. At a complex theory, each and every note even down to per millisecond directly changes our mood. Our brain is constantly making adjustments to decide "what the fuck is going on here." We're constantly assaulted by noise and music, at times, which affect us at all times. Go to a screamo show and you'll probably leave all amped up and/or angry (for whatever reason, it works).
So I suppose I digress slightly. When it comes down to it what I am really trying to say is that every tone changes how we feel whether we resist it or not. The physical transactions between colliding atomic particles and our person, which affects chemical interactions and electrical signals ultimately changes our atomic disposition towards how we are. Yep. I have arrived at this point. Music changes who we are.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Importance & Reality
Reality, purpose, and the whole importance of it all is something that has been on my mind lately. Being what I consider an "educated fool" I seem to take what I know and weave it with what I feel for some uniquely odd results. I am a science major so my chief studies focus on how the world works, what makes up the world, and what is likely to happen to said world. My beliefs walk the line of spiritual non-existence, existence, and unity.
Ideally if my belief structure had to be classified it would be one that is almost wholly Buddhist with some serious pieces of Taoism. To the uninitiated this means I'm all about oneness, togetherness, and the firm stance that we're all the same - literally the same. Yet I also straddle a line that all of this is wholly real yet none of it is actually in existence. Of course the floor I'm on is a floor and I am sitting in a chair that is atop the floor. These are the rules of this reality but it truly is a floor and yet something more and nothing, too.
Usually people look at me kind of strange when I say things like that. I always pose the question "How do you know it's there; because you can feel the wood grains, the coolness of the floor, the hardness of its form, and each imperfection?" Perception is a form of reality but there is so much more to it. I usually ask if they can sense the insensible? The billions of atoms within even the smallest portion of wood floor - I can't sense all these individual pieces at all or tell that they are moving at all but the atomic structure is there, right? We know this because we are told that it is there but how can one be sure?
I'm being silly and really am detracting from the subject. I'm not renouncing physics and chemistry I'm merely stating that what we sense doesn't necessarily mean anything at all especially in terms of reality. So back to the subject. I firmly believe that we're all the same but I tend to take my knowledge and fuse it with my beliefs. Not only do I believe that all life is tied together I also believe that all objects and all matter is precisely the same. Each individual atom makes up the glass table this computer sits on similar to how each atom makes up my person. They are different in the way in which you could quantify an atom. Two atoms side by side are different atoms but they are the same so what exactly is the difference?
Ahh! Yes the difference; the difference is the space in which the atoms occupy. Lets use an example of my human body. I am me and all four limbs are me but what makes it all me? Connective tissues made of... atoms. Atoms bound together - yet this bonding is not really important in the scale of the atom itself. They all exist and wriggle separately yet to the same beat. So in essence, I am not me because I am really nothing. I am an innumerable pile of atoms buzzing around trying to balance out this body. So yeah, I am absolutely an entity and a being. I am real and I am here but... I'm not anything, either.
I also stated that we're all the same, too. When I'm in a crowded bar (yes, I am this guy) I will usually feel out the room and look at what makes up the physical structure of the bar but also look at the interactions of each person both to me and separate from me. Its all a very intricate dance of these atoms just wriggling with no rhyme or reason. The reason is nothing and the purpose is chaos. I sit at the bar with my drink and feel the energy in the room. I'm the girl with the first date; I'm the man playing darts with his buddies; I'm the bartender just waiting to get out to shoot up some smack; I'm the spider solitary and waiting in the vent; I'm also the vent, the stool, the bar, and the window.
Now... when I first mentioned purpose I could mean many things. Divine purpose, cosmic purpose, individual purpose - but what I really mean is the absence of purpose. I really dislike the ideal of a purpose. A purpose means there is a plan and design to this all but that just is not me whatsoever. We weren't put here for a purpose and there is no purpose to achieve. No greater power or lesser evil pulling at our strings to do certain things. We are men, we are women, we are animals, and we are nothing. Let us all drink to the coexistence and unity of our struggle through this wriggling existence.
Sometimes I try to be inspiring especially when it comes to purpose. You see as I said purpose implies a reason to exist and an inherent design. I really find it funny and pretty selfish to assume there is a design and there is a purpose at all! Wholly I believe that we all have it in each of us to be brilliant but I think too many peoples beliefs hold them back. If you believe you are here for a reason - built to achieve - than you will feel crushed and disheartened when you fail. Why think of a purpose when we all have what it takes to be absolutely everything. I know I know this is contradictory to what I said earlier. Not only are we absolutely nothing - just pieces put together in random coincidence - we also are everything. With random sets of matter also comes with the absolute that matter is. Be brilliant in our vast greatness and combined unity with the universe. We are the children of the cosmos so our purpose is to push the greatness of existence to the boundaries! Each of us owes it to each other (remember: the same beings) to push each other as high up as we can go.
I'm going to end it here. Sort of climactic I suppose but that is where I like to stop. Think about it. Get back to me with your thoughts....
Ideally if my belief structure had to be classified it would be one that is almost wholly Buddhist with some serious pieces of Taoism. To the uninitiated this means I'm all about oneness, togetherness, and the firm stance that we're all the same - literally the same. Yet I also straddle a line that all of this is wholly real yet none of it is actually in existence. Of course the floor I'm on is a floor and I am sitting in a chair that is atop the floor. These are the rules of this reality but it truly is a floor and yet something more and nothing, too.
Usually people look at me kind of strange when I say things like that. I always pose the question "How do you know it's there; because you can feel the wood grains, the coolness of the floor, the hardness of its form, and each imperfection?" Perception is a form of reality but there is so much more to it. I usually ask if they can sense the insensible? The billions of atoms within even the smallest portion of wood floor - I can't sense all these individual pieces at all or tell that they are moving at all but the atomic structure is there, right? We know this because we are told that it is there but how can one be sure?
I'm being silly and really am detracting from the subject. I'm not renouncing physics and chemistry I'm merely stating that what we sense doesn't necessarily mean anything at all especially in terms of reality. So back to the subject. I firmly believe that we're all the same but I tend to take my knowledge and fuse it with my beliefs. Not only do I believe that all life is tied together I also believe that all objects and all matter is precisely the same. Each individual atom makes up the glass table this computer sits on similar to how each atom makes up my person. They are different in the way in which you could quantify an atom. Two atoms side by side are different atoms but they are the same so what exactly is the difference?
Ahh! Yes the difference; the difference is the space in which the atoms occupy. Lets use an example of my human body. I am me and all four limbs are me but what makes it all me? Connective tissues made of... atoms. Atoms bound together - yet this bonding is not really important in the scale of the atom itself. They all exist and wriggle separately yet to the same beat. So in essence, I am not me because I am really nothing. I am an innumerable pile of atoms buzzing around trying to balance out this body. So yeah, I am absolutely an entity and a being. I am real and I am here but... I'm not anything, either.
I also stated that we're all the same, too. When I'm in a crowded bar (yes, I am this guy) I will usually feel out the room and look at what makes up the physical structure of the bar but also look at the interactions of each person both to me and separate from me. Its all a very intricate dance of these atoms just wriggling with no rhyme or reason. The reason is nothing and the purpose is chaos. I sit at the bar with my drink and feel the energy in the room. I'm the girl with the first date; I'm the man playing darts with his buddies; I'm the bartender just waiting to get out to shoot up some smack; I'm the spider solitary and waiting in the vent; I'm also the vent, the stool, the bar, and the window.
Now... when I first mentioned purpose I could mean many things. Divine purpose, cosmic purpose, individual purpose - but what I really mean is the absence of purpose. I really dislike the ideal of a purpose. A purpose means there is a plan and design to this all but that just is not me whatsoever. We weren't put here for a purpose and there is no purpose to achieve. No greater power or lesser evil pulling at our strings to do certain things. We are men, we are women, we are animals, and we are nothing. Let us all drink to the coexistence and unity of our struggle through this wriggling existence.
Sometimes I try to be inspiring especially when it comes to purpose. You see as I said purpose implies a reason to exist and an inherent design. I really find it funny and pretty selfish to assume there is a design and there is a purpose at all! Wholly I believe that we all have it in each of us to be brilliant but I think too many peoples beliefs hold them back. If you believe you are here for a reason - built to achieve - than you will feel crushed and disheartened when you fail. Why think of a purpose when we all have what it takes to be absolutely everything. I know I know this is contradictory to what I said earlier. Not only are we absolutely nothing - just pieces put together in random coincidence - we also are everything. With random sets of matter also comes with the absolute that matter is. Be brilliant in our vast greatness and combined unity with the universe. We are the children of the cosmos so our purpose is to push the greatness of existence to the boundaries! Each of us owes it to each other (remember: the same beings) to push each other as high up as we can go.
I'm going to end it here. Sort of climactic I suppose but that is where I like to stop. Think about it. Get back to me with your thoughts....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)